Because It’s ME Now !

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Hey,

When did it all get so messed up ? Would I give anything to sit with a true friend on a rooftop and cry my heart out ? YES.

I know right now I can write a really positive mail and that is what everyone needs to hear. Everyone recommends to stay away from indecisive and scared people and am scared I will be standing alone if people do that.

Because that’s me.

I have always thought quoting other people and copying lines from other blogs, will make my piece better because what I write is shit. So, that is what I have always done and when people appreciated it I never felt that happiness because I knew it was not I who wrote it. And the one time I wrote something myself and people appreciated, I never understood what people were liking about it because what i wrote was shit as usual.

Little did I realize that this was what I was doing with respect to every feeling, every decision.

I really love eating but leave me with a new person and ask me what I want to eat. I will say nothing because I am not good at deciding what to eat and I don’t want to keep the other person waiting. You know why I am never able to decide what to eat ? Because what if the other person does not like what I chose for myself ? What if getting it involves a bit extra trouble ?

So here I am, writing from my heart. Every word every line is mine. Every feeling is mine. If you are able to find yourself in these lines, don’t be afraid. You will find yourself and be fine, maybe not today, but soon. Because we have handled worse, and we can handle this. Let’s take a baby step. We have never made anyone work hard on the attention we give them, but let’s work a bit on the attention we give ourselves.

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Rear View Mirror of Life

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Take a look at the rear view mirror of your life. And I tell you to do that for two reasons.

Firstly, because your life is your biggest inspiration and in times when you think you can’t take a step forward you need to look back and see how far you have traveled. It’s important to have that self confidence rekindled in you in order to keep you going through the difficult times. If you could do it earlier you can do it again. Remember that time in class 2 when someone stole your pencil or your best friend sat with someone else or in class 5 when you got bad marks and you really cried your heart out and thought to yourself that you were a failure but the next time you worked harder and there you are. You grew up through all those bad marks and all those taunts and all those nasty comments. Hence, it’s important to look back and say to yourself, “I can do it again.” Yes, the problems are going to get bigger and the situations more tough but you are also going to grow stronger and more mature.  It’s important to look for inspiration in that rear view mirror; inspiration from the past for the future.

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Secondly, because those heartbreaks, those friendships ending, those achievements, those selfless tasks, those bad performances have all shaped how you are. You are not every individual decision you make but the collection of the impacts of all those decisions. Yes, maybe that friendship or relationship didn’t work out. But don’t ever say that you regret it and you hope that it never happened in the first place, because that is what made you happy at a point of time and it taught you something that no other person or incident or book or movie could teach. If some teach you to not be emotionally dependent on each other others teach you to love yourself a little more and know what you deserve and not settle for less. So it’s important to have a look at the rear view mirror of your life once in a while to be able to appreciate the bad as well as good incidences. .

But there is one more very important thing and that is not to get stuck in the image you see in the rear view mirror cause there is a reason it didn’t make it to your present. I know at times it feels good to remember those familiar times because we are afraid to face the unseen. But trying to know the unknown is the meaning of living your life. Lamenting over the losses of the past and the beauties of those times will make you weaker to move forward. It’s necessary to make a you who has confidence in his own being because the best love story you will ever have is the one with yourself and you don’t want to be bad. Figuring things out and handling tough situations makes you stronger in a way no one else can. Those mistakes those people and those achievements are supposed to encourage you to keep moving forward and the moment these images start making you weaker apply the breaks and change your view. Have a look through the windshield and not the rear view mirror as it is not benefiting you. There is a reason why that windshield is larger than the rear view mirror and there is also a reason why it’s there.

‘Never look back and keep moving forward’.  Doesn’t really practically work.

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